Soap Box

You know, I'm not much of a soap opera watcher . . . at least not since they had that weird Days of Our Lives "serial killer killing off main characters but people who died end up on an island" plot. Stupid. But I've watched enough Days of Our Lives, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy to have learned a few life lessons. Here they are . . .

  1. You can never have too much cleavage.
  2. There's always a soundtrack to life issues.
  3. It's kinda cool to have an omniscient voice narrating your life.
  4. Always take a dramatic pause before you say something really important.
  5. When you're dying, make a really emotional monologue but don't finish.
  6. Being farcical will get you more attention than being Republican.
  7. There's always that annoying sound when you have flashbacks.
  8. Women are so attracted to idiots, and men, well, they're attracted to everything -- anything.
  9. If it's homemade and sends you to the hospital, Susan probably made it.
  10. When someone gets a close-up, there's something big happening.

I'm sure more will develop as the plots thicken . . .